Spicy news from today: 🔥🌶
Majors Flatline: Top 50 Coins in a Snooze Fest
JP Morgan's BTC ETF Nod: Approval Now More Likely Than Your Gym Visit
Google Searches for Crypto: Hits 5-Year Low, Even Lower Than Your Ex's Standards
Grayscale's ETH Hoard: Now the 2nd Largest Owner,
Watch Out Vitalik
Binance Head of Product: Exits Stage Left, No Encore
CZ on US Regulation: Claims Binance is Way Ahead, Like Usain Bolt Ahead
Huobi's Spot Market Share: Second Only to Binance, the Silver Medalist
DEX Volumes Plunge: Lowest Since Aug 2020, Even Lower Than My Hopes
SOL Co-Founder's FTX Plan: Wants SOL Redistributed, Like a Crypto Robin Hood
Friend Tech TVL: On the Rise Again, Like a Phoenix
Quiet Day Due to US Holiday: Europe and Asia Pick Up the Slack
Chinese Property Rebound: Stimulus and Restructuring, the Dynamic Duo
Ukraine's New Defence Minister: Previous One Replaced, No Refunds
Human Near-Extinction: Only 1280 Survived, Talk About Exclusive Club
Burning Man Crisis: 73,000 People Still Trapped, It's a Deserted Desert
Verstappen's 10th Win: Equals Record, Cue the Champagne
Creator League Exit: Gaming Star Leaves Over NFT Drama, Mic Drop
PYR's Gaming Surge: Up 30% Amidst GALA Drama, Grab Your Popcorn
GTC Skyrockets: Up 40% After Passports Upgrade, Passport to Profits
SNX Teases V3: Up 15%, Like a Movie Trailer But Better
On-Chain Narrative Coins: Continue to Bleed, Get the Band-Aids
Another Mega Mutant Sale: Goes for 250ETH, That's a Lot of Zeroes
