At the end of March this year, a 19-year-old girl named Tongtong from Henan jumped into a river and committed suicide. What drove her to death was a blind date, an engagement, and a 270,000 yuan betrothal gift.
Before her death, her life trajectory seemed to have been fast-forwarded. In less than a month, her brilliant but short life was over. After reading the whole story, I felt that this was not an ordinary tragedy. It was more like a "murder" committed by everyone around the girl.
Tongtong's tragedy was actually foreshadowed a long time ago. Her parents divorced when she was two months old, and she lived with her mother Zhou Rong. She remarried many times and has five half-brothers and sisters. As the eldest sister, she not only had to take care of her younger brothers and sisters, but her depressed mother would sometimes abuse her when she had an attack. Growing up in such a day, it is no surprise that Tongtong became a "sensible" child who always considers others. She dropped out of school early, got up at 6 o'clock every day to buy breakfast for her sister, and drove an electric car for more than 10 kilometers to pick up her sister to and from school. She also worked several jobs, and half of her monthly income of 4,000 yuan was transferred to her family. She worked hard to save money to help her family. She even said, "Even if I sell blood, I will support my sister's schooling."
However, Tongtong's "sensible" and "well-behaved" appearance in the eyes of others can also lock the shackles of her own destiny. - The tragedy began with a blind date. Tongtong's mother Zhou Rong asked someone to act as a matchmaker to find a husband for Tongtong. The matchmaker was very concerned and soon found a man named "Xingliang" who was 40 to 50 kilometers away. It was said that he was only 4 years older than Tongtong. The two of them only spent a few days together, and they quickly got engaged amid the persuasion of the people around them, with a gift of 280,000 yuan. I believe most people would think that this was too hasty. Tongtong was also very hesitant, thinking that Xingliang was too strong and was obviously 4 years older than her, which was not what she wanted. She was very resistant in her heart and wanted to cancel the engagement, but she still couldn't make the decision. Because Xingliang's family was well-off, his mother Zhou Rong was quite satisfied and tried her best to negotiate more gifts and cars and houses. The matchmakers on both sides who received the introduction fee also tried their best to match them up, and tried their best to persuade Tongtong, vowing to immediately promote a "good marriage" in Tibet.
What's more, the engagement party has already been held. Tongtong's mother was still at the engagement party, counting the 270,000 betrothal gifts from the man's family. Later, when the man heard that Tongtong wanted to cancel the engagement, Xingliang's father even came from another place and expressed the hope that he would not cancel the engagement for his own face and reputation. The major event in the life of a 19-year-old girl, the happiness of her life, is not as good as a betrothal gift, the face of a middle-aged man, and the introduction fee of two matchmakers. In the end, under the soft and hard persuasion of all parties, Tongtong once again acted as a "sensible" child and chose to compromise. However, the price of this "sensibility" was too heavy. It's not that she didn't pick up a stick to fight, and she had quarreled with her mother several times, but to no avail. This kind and cowardly child wanted to hurt others until the last moment.
She could only resist the arranged marriage of the coronavirus by hurting herself. Late one night a few days later, Tongtong walked to the riverbank of the park, climbed over the railing and jumped. ... Perhaps, at the last moment, she was still thinking that if she died, she could make her mother realize her mistake. However, she never expected that after her death, no one would care about her thoughts. Mother Zhou Rong was unwilling to return the betrothal gift, and she had a very unpleasant quarrel with the man's family. In the end, it was the man who found the TV station to expose it, and after mediation by local departments, she was willing to compromise. The two matchmakers also successively dumped the pot and hung it up. Relatives, the man, and the matchmaker did not understand why Tongtong committed suicide, and they all felt that Tongtong's life had nothing to do with them. When Tongtong was alive, everyone was pushing her to get married. However, when Tongtong died, everyone was pulling and clearing their responsibilities. However, this responsibility is not irrelevant if it is cleared.
- The person with the biggest problem is Tongtong's mother Zhou Rong. From the beginning to the end, she has been fighting for her own interests, not her daughter's happiness. When the matchmaker introduced her, she readily agreed, just because the man had excellent conditions. When she found out that Tongtong was resistant to marriage, her first reaction was to "press" her daughter. In the video circulating online, there was a small episode at the engagement banquet. The betrothal gift that the two parties initially negotiated was a total of 280,000 yuan, including the gift money for the woman's uncle. But when she counted the money with her hands when she nodded her head for the engagement and found that the man only gave 270,000 yuan, she immediately turned hostile and threatened to cancel the engagement. It was also about canceling the engagement, but the daughter wanted to cancel the engagement, but because the betrothal gift was not enough, is this the attitude that a mother should have? According to media reports, after the man made up the betrothal gift, she made another request, "a house with three bedrooms and a living room, and a new car." Are these requests for her daughter, or just for money? According to the matchmaker, all the betrothal gifts for her daughter were deposited into a bank card whose password only Zhou Rong knew. Other people's children, at the age of 19, are probably still being pampered and protected. But in her case, her 19-year-old daughter is just a "commodity" to be exchanged for money.
If this mother had considered her daughter's happiness more, if she had thought more from her daughter's perspective, the tragedy might not have happened. - Let's talk about the matchmaker in this incident. They did not consider whether the two parties were suitable or happy, but only wanted their own introduction fee. Knowing that Tongtong showed resistance, they still "earnestly" persuaded Tongtong to tell her not to cancel the engagement. After Tongtong's death, what they cared most about was not their own mistakes, but that the deal was not done and the introduction fee was lost. "I am in my seventies and have made several trips to propose marriage, but in the end (the man) asked for the 4,000 yuan back."
- Finally, let’s talk about the man’s family. Although it’s understandable that they want to get the betrothal gift back, Xingliang’s father blackmailed Tongtong for the sake of his reputation, and they concealed Xingliang’s marriage age from the beginning, which also blocked Tongtong’s escape route. Even worse was Tongtong’s biological father. When he heard that his daughter was engaged and had the betrothal gift money, he hadn’t contacted his daughter for a long time. The first thing he did after calling his daughter was to ask for money... money!!!
Everyone around Tongtong is pursuing their own interests for money, but no one has ever cared whether Tongtong is happy or not? Is she really willing to marry this person?
Throughout the tragedy, Tongtong was a bargaining chip on the balance of marriage; she was the object of letters exchanged with betrothal gifts and the grace of upbringing; she was also a tool to grab the generous betrothal commission. Her sensible and well-behaved daughter, but no one treated her as a complete person. Writing here, I sighed for the passing of this young and beautiful life, and my eyes became wet without realizing it. She finally got rid of that family, but in such a decisive way. Tongtong is not only her, but also a microcosm of millions of girls in this world.
