All escapes from pain will eventually cause pain to return with greater intensity. The reason is that our mind uses two completely different coping methods for handling things in the 'far body space' and the 'near body space'.
Once something is far from you, it enters the far body space. At this time, your dopamine starts to secrete in large amounts. You will feel excited and begin to think this thing is particularly important.
On the contrary, once it enters the near body space, your dopamine secretion will stop. Your excitement will begin to fade, and you will feel that the thing that just distanced itself from you gradually loses its attraction.
This is known as the brain science principle of 'far fragrance, near stink'.
In this way, you will know:
Why do stars need to maintain enough distance from their fans?
Why is the moon abroad always a little rounder?
And why the most exciting feeling occurs when you order takeout, but when it is served on the table, your interest diminishes.
Of course, if during the process of eating takeout, you eat while feeling guilty, your excitement will remain. Because in your heart, the food is still in the far body space.
This is also the reason why the more you avoid pain, the more it follows you like a shadow—because to some extent, 'pain' has become the source of your dopamine secretion.
The reason stress is addictive is also due to the same reason.
In fact, all the changes you want to make when you feel bad are an escape from pain, and will lead to it entering the 'far body space'.
Even reading, traveling, and exercising—these seemingly healthy habits or hobbies are the same.
Not avoiding means facing it directly.
What do you do when you are in a calm and pleasant state?
Think back, and you will have the answer.
When you walk, if your heart is calm, you won’t change the act of walking—you won’t intentionally do anything.
You might go eat something, or take a walk in the park, but you are not doing it to change your emotional experience. You do it because you want to do it. It's that simple.
The same goes for pleasure.
You let these feelings happen in your heart. Because you 'enjoy them'.
This is facing it directly.
You should learn to try not to make any changes when pain comes.
Feel it, experience it. Just like you experience calmness and joy.
In this process, you can truly experience the laws of the inner world, which are always opposite to reality.
In the real world, whatever you resist will disappear.
In the inner world, only what you allow will disappear.
Because only by allowing can you transfer things from the inner 'far body space' to the 'near body space'.
Then, it will lose all its irresistible magic.
In fact, many times, the reason we remain trapped in negative emotions for a long time is not because of the emotions themselves, but because we do not see the mechanisms behind them. Once you understand, you will smile at it:
It turns out it’s just that the mind processes distant and close things differently.