After zks and L0 ended, I temporarily lost interest in continuing to play airdrops. I don’t want to become a computer person.
It has been a year since I quit my job. My daily routine is to get up at 10am, turn on my computer, browse Twitter, order takeout at 12pm, continue to browse Twitter, play games, order takeout at 18pm, and continue to browse Twitter and be emo at night.
In the past year, I probably went out less than 10 times. I became a person trapped in the house. It was as if I had set a program. I would not do anything other than what was set. In this room, there is a table. Since I moved in, I have never used it once. It has been covered with a layer of dust. The kitchen table, TV, TV cabinet, sofa, etc.
I haven't used it. It's no exaggeration to say that the dust on the sofa needs to be washed at least twice. It's not that I don't have the urge to wash it. Sometimes when I see them, I will have a strong desire to clean them up, but when I take action, I suddenly find that I have a lot of things to do. The more I think about it, the less I want to act.
I made excuses for myself. Now everything is about making money. I don't need anything else. No one will come to my house. Why bother? I successfully convinced myself and continued to be decadent.
Actually, I don’t have that many things to do. I still sit in front of the computer most of the time. Habits are really terrible, especially bad habits.
If that incident hadn't happened, I probably wouldn't want to change. I have a friend A, friend A has a friend B, friend B has a friend C. That day A asked me to go out and have some fun, not to stay at home all day and become a homebody. I said ok, I thought it was just him, but after eating hot pot, there were three of us. I wanted to talk to B, but I was horrified to find that my language ability had deteriorated, my ability to organize language and speak had weakened, I didn't know what to say
I could only eat the hot pot meat in silence. I couldn't join in their conversation, and I didn't know how to do it. After the meal, I thought everyone went home, but suddenly B said that one of her sisters was coming too, and the four of us could go to a hot spring hotel to have some fun. I don't want to recall my state at that time. Although I had no expression on my face, I was terrified because I had never been to a hot spring hotel. An unknown fear filled me.
I agreed expressionlessly, and when C came, I felt even more embarrassed because C was a beautiful woman. I couldn't explain it in words. I felt uncomfortable and couldn't fit in.
I stayed in the hot spring hotel for a day. It was my first time here and I knew nothing. I was afraid that others would know that I knew nothing, so I dared not speak. I let others lead me to change clothes, eat, sleep, and play games.
After the experience, I didn't feel any happiness. Maybe I didn't know how to be happy. The next day, I thought everyone went home to see their mothers. But C suggested that we play mahjong. I was confused because I didn't know how to play mahjong. I didn't even know the rules.
What's worse is that there is no mahjong parlor nearby. A suggested going to my house because he helped me move. The space here is OK and there is a table. I can buy a set of mahjong and play. B and C looked at me. I was very scared at that moment because my house is almost gray except for the area where I move.
It was as if others wanted to discover my dirtiest side. In the end, the four of us went to my house. They all saw that my room was very dusty. I didn't know what they thought. In the end, we swept the room together, wiped the table, and then played mahjong. The sofa was not wiped. A saw that I was embarrassed, so he took the initiative to sit on it, saying that he had to take a shower tomorrow anyway. B and C looked at each other and sat on it without saying anything.
I don't want to talk about playing mahjong in detail. People who have learned mahjong from scratch should understand my feelings, especially the things mentioned above.
Before they left, C said that maybe they would not come, I would never move the mahjong, and it would be covered with dust next time. She was right. I had not moved the mahjong set for a month after playing mahjong, and it was already covered with dust.
After the ZKS and L0 airdrops, my earnings were not very satisfactory. I felt that I had wasted my time and youth, and done something stupid that made me live like a nobody.
I looked at the dusty furniture and recalled the embarrassment and fear I had felt last time. I suddenly realized that there were many places I had not been to. I was filled with fear of stores. I was used to online shopping and I no longer knew which stores had the items or what the process was.
I have never been to a bar, a pub, a trendy brand store, an entertainment venue, or even Starbucks. I am stuck in a vicious cycle of not knowing what to do when I go out, and continuing to be decadent when I don’t go out.
I decided to change myself and stop being a useless person. I searched for ways to change myself. I threw away all my old clothes. Every day I looked at what trendy men were wearing, searched for pictures and bought them. I started exercising and taking care of my skin. My outer appearance improved, but my inner appearance did not.
How difficult it is to seek inwardness. Yesterday I went to Starbucks for the first time. I opened the door and walked in. I was very scared for the first time. I didn’t know how to order. I even felt that they were looking at me. Seeing some stools, I walked over and sat down. There was a menu. I picked it up and looked at it. At that moment, I thought a lot about how I was going to pay. There seemed to be no small cups here. I lowered my head and looked at it. I didn’t. Found what I wanted, then I realized this wasn't a counter, this was Starbucks Select
I was embarrassed, but glad that I didn't say anything. I walked over to the counter, where there was an electronic menu, but I'm nearsighted and couldn't see the words clearly. I had no choice but to ask the clerk if there was a paper menu. The clerk glanced at me and I could see that she was a little confused, but she still found a menu for me. I looked at it and hadn't tried any of them. I finally chose Frappuccino, and I saw there were three prices, so I said small, and she told me that the small Frappuccino was a medium. I didn't understand, so I said ok
I found an empty table and sat down. The waiter said he would call me. After sitting for a few minutes, someone came over and scanned my table. I realized there was a QR code on the table. I could scan it to order food. I was embarrassed again.
I waited for 20 minutes, but it was still not ready. I was very confused, so I notified myself to wait another 5 minutes. When I was still not called, I went to ask. After 5 minutes, I was still not called, so I went to ask if my Frappuccino was ready. The clerk pointed to the cup in front of me and said that this was the Frappuccino. I was even more embarrassed. It was the first time I saw a Frappuccino and I had no idea what it looked like.
I sat and drank for an hour, and it tasted okay. There was a girl in front of me, and she had been taking selfies since she came in. I admired her courage, or in her world, this was a very normal thing, but if it were me, I would need a lot of courage. After drinking, I took the subway home. The purpose of coming out was to drink a frappuccino, maybe right, maybe wrong. I hope that after I make progress, I will temporarily lose interest in continuing to rub airdrops. I don’t want to become a computer person.
It has been a year since I quit my job. My daily routine is to get up at 10am, turn on my computer, browse Twitter, order takeout at 12pm, continue to browse Twitter, play games, order takeout at 18pm, and continue to browse Twitter and be emo at night.
In the past year, I probably went out less than 10 times. I became a person trapped in the house. It was as if I had set a program. I would not do anything other than what was set. In this room, there is a table. Since I moved in, I have never used it once. It has been covered with a layer of dust. The kitchen table, TV, TV cabinet, sofa, etc.
I haven't used it. It's no exaggeration to say that the dust on the sofa needs to be washed at least twice. It's not that I don't have the urge to wash it. Sometimes when I see them, I will have a strong desire to clean them up, but when I take action, I suddenly find that I have a lot of things to do. The more I think about it, the less I want to act.
I made excuses for myself. Now everything is about making money. I don't need anything else. No one will come to my house. Why bother? I successfully convinced myself and continued to be decadent.
Actually, I don’t have that many things to do. I still sit in front of the computer most of the time. Habits are really terrible, especially bad habits.
If that incident hadn't happened, I probably wouldn't want to change. I have a friend A, friend A has a friend B, friend B has a friend C. That day A asked me to go out and have some fun, not to stay at home all day and become a homebody. I said ok, I thought it was just him, but after eating hot pot, there were three of us. I wanted to talk to B, but I was horrified to find that my language ability had deteriorated, my ability to organize language and speak had weakened, I didn't know what to say
I could only eat the hot pot meat in silence. I couldn't join in their conversation, and I didn't know how to do it. After the meal, I thought everyone went home, but suddenly B said that one of her sisters was coming too, and the four of us could go to a hot spring hotel to have some fun. I don't want to recall my state at that time. Although I had no expression on my face, I was terrified because I had never been to a hot spring hotel. An unknown fear filled me.
I agreed expressionlessly, and when C came, I felt even more embarrassed because C was a beautiful woman. I couldn't explain it in words. I felt uncomfortable and couldn't fit in.
I stayed in the hot spring hotel for a day. It was my first time here and I knew nothing. I was afraid that others would know that I knew nothing, so I dared not speak. I let others lead me to change clothes, eat, sleep, and play games.
After the experience, I didn't feel any happiness. Maybe I didn't know how to be happy. The next day, I thought everyone went home to see their mothers. But C suggested that we play mahjong. I was confused because I didn't know how to play mahjong. I didn't even know the rules.
What's worse is that there is no mahjong parlor nearby. A suggested going to my house because he helped me move. The space here is OK and there is a table. I can buy a set of mahjong and play. B and C looked at me. I was very scared at that moment because my house is almost gray except for the area where I move.
It was as if others wanted to discover my dirtiest side. In the end, the four of us went to my house. They all saw that my room was very dusty. I didn't know what they thought. In the end, we swept the room together, wiped the table, and then played mahjong. The sofa was not wiped. A saw that I was embarrassed, so he took the initiative to sit on it, saying that he had to take a shower tomorrow anyway. B and C looked at each other and sat on it without saying anything.
I don't want to talk about playing mahjong in detail. People who have learned mahjong from scratch should understand my feelings, especially the things mentioned above.
Before they left, C said that maybe they would not come, and I would never move the mahjong tiles, and they would be covered with dust next time. She was right. I had not moved the mahjong tiles for a month after playing mahjong, and they were already covered with dust.
After the ZKS and L0 airdrops, my earnings were not very satisfactory. I felt that I had wasted my time and youth, and done something stupid that made me live like a nobody.
I looked at the dusty furniture and recalled the embarrassment and fear I had felt last time. I suddenly realized that there were many places I had not been to. I was filled with fear of stores. I was used to online shopping and I no longer knew which stores had the items or what the process was.
I have never been to a bar, a pub, a trendy brand store, an entertainment venue, or even Starbucks. I am stuck in a vicious cycle of not knowing what to do when I go out, and continuing to be decadent when I don’t go out.
I decided to change myself and stop being a useless person. I searched for ways to change myself. I threw away all my old clothes. Every day I looked at what trendy men were wearing, searched for pictures and bought them. I started exercising and taking care of my skin. My outer appearance improved, but my inner appearance did not.
How difficult it is to seek inwardness. Yesterday I went to Starbucks for the first time. I opened the door and walked in. I was very scared for the first time. I didn’t know how to order. I even felt that they were looking at me. Seeing some stools, I walked over and sat down. There was a menu. I picked it up and looked at it. At that moment, I thought a lot about how I was going to pay. There seemed to be no small cups here. I lowered my head and looked at it. I didn’t. Found what I wanted, then I realized this wasn't a counter, this was Starbucks Select
I was embarrassed, but glad that I didn't say anything. I walked over to the counter, where there was an electronic menu, but I'm nearsighted and couldn't see the words clearly. I had no choice but to ask the clerk if there was a paper menu. The clerk glanced at me and I could see that she was a little confused, but she still found a menu for me. I looked at it and hadn't tried any of them. I finally chose Frappuccino, and I saw there were three prices, so I said small, and she told me that the small Frappuccino was a medium. I didn't understand, so I said ok
I found an empty table and sat down. The waiter said he would call me. After sitting for a few minutes, someone came over and scanned my table. I realized there was a QR code on the table. I could scan it to order food. I was embarrassed again.
I waited for 20 minutes, but it was still not ready. I was very confused, so I notified myself to wait another 5 minutes. When I was still not called, I went to ask. After 5 minutes, I was still not called, so I went to ask if my Frappuccino was ready. The clerk pointed to the cup in front of me and said that this was the Frappuccino. I was even more embarrassed. It was the first time I saw a Frappuccino and I had no idea what it looked like.
I sat there and drank for an hour. It tasted okay. There was a girl in front of me. She had been taking selfies since she came in. I admired her courage. Maybe in her world, this was a very normal thing. But if it was me, I would need a lot of courage. After drinking, I took the subway home. The purpose of coming out was to drink a frappuccino. Maybe it was right, maybe it was wrong. I hope I am making progress.
