Long, long ago, in the East, a monarch asked King Solomon for a motto that would apply to both good and bad times.
King Solomon considered for a moment and gave the monarch a motto:
“This too shall pass.
This phrase "This too shall pass" applies not only to success and failure, passion and regret, but also to good times and bad times. No matter what situation you are facing, it reminds us that time will heal everything, and even in difficult times, we must believe that all this will eventually pass.
So whether you are unhappy with your current life, want to change jobs, move, or leave a relationship, don’t worry about adapting to the new environment. Even if the current situation is not over, our mentality is gradually adapting.
Levitt came up with a way to create a coin game on the website. If you are hesitant about whether to change, the website will give you a virtual coin. According to the rules, if it lands on the front, you change, otherwise, you maintain the status quo. About 20,000 people did the experiment, and the survey showed that those who made corresponding changes due to the guidance of the coin were much happier than those who maintained the status quo. Most people in life do not have the encouragement or positive psychological hints of flipping a coin, so they stand still and stick to the wrong things.
When you hesitate whether you need to change, it means that you are not very satisfied with your current situation. Then the change will definitely be for the better. Don't be afraid or hesitant and feel uncertain after the change, because your thinking is stuck in a fixed pattern, a habitual thinking pattern.
Some studies also show that you do feel uncomfortable at first. For example, data from the United States shows that about one-third to one-quarter of employees in each industry will leave within six months of joining. This period of adjustment is normal. However, as long as you can stick with it for a while, after a few months you will find that the initial difficulties are nothing because you have adapted to the new environment. As the old saying goes, there is no hurdle that cannot be overcome, "Eat when you should eat, drink when you should drink, and don't take anything to heart", people are very adaptable to difficult environments.
For example, during World War II, London was bombed every night by German troops. Despite the threat to their lives, Londoners continued to live relatively normal lives. They continued to sleep in their own beds, go to restaurants, and enjoy concerts. This shows that even when the situation is difficult, people can adapt and their happiness does not decrease.
Even if the situation remains the same, your sense of pain will gradually decrease.
Imagining a future event is different from actually experiencing it. Economist Stephen Levitt conducted an interesting study demonstrating that people tend to underestimate their ability to adapt to change.
When you are hesitating whether to change your current life, you may need a little decisiveness. Levitt's experiments show that those who make a coin-pick decision to change their lives are usually happier afterwards.
If you find yourself wavering, it means you are unhappy with your current situation, and change is statistically more likely to improve your happiness. Don't worry about the uncertainty that comes with change, because you will adapt to the new environment.
Sometimes change comes unexpectedly. Projects may fail, relationships may break down, loved ones may die, etc. However, these difficulties too will pass with time.
People tend to overestimate how long negative emotions last. For example, after a breakup, many people expect to still be depressed for months, but in reality their emotions quickly return to normal.
However, everyone adapts at a different rate.
Martin and Ronald are two students who were expecting to get high marks on their exams, but ended up with only 85. Both were frustrated, but Martin recovered in just a few hours, while Ronald took longer.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, two single mothers in the UK, Shirley and Veronica, had to work from home and take care of their children. Although they were in similar situations, Shirley adapted faster, while Veronica took longer. This difference may be related to personal mental health and adaptability.
The right way to habituate is to live actively based on acknowledging reality. Martin reflected on the reasons for not getting high scores, but quickly shifted his attention to other things. Shirley rearranged her environment while working at home to better adapt to her new lifestyle.
However, negative habits like rumination, which is excessive thinking and dwelling on past distress, can exacerbate distress. This psychological state is not conducive to adapting to new situations.
When facing fear and anxiety, the most effective method may be exposure therapy, which involves gradually coming into contact with and adapting to the object of fear, and gradually accepting it.
While everyone’s adaptability varies, habituation itself is not set in stone. Successful people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett have demonstrated their own unique ways of adapting to change, albeit in different styles.
Bill Gates reads a book every week, covering psychology, economics, philosophy, etc. Buffett is more diligent, reading 500 pages a day, and his interests are more specific, mainly business investment.
Everyone has different habits and work styles. Bill Gates likes new things and explores different fields, while Buffett likes to read company financial reports and his interests are not that broad.
Habituation is a process of adapting the mind to reality. Many things are more related to life experience and genetics, which are all normal phenomena and do not need to care about other people's criticism.
Sometimes "pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." Our mentality can be easily influenced by some unrealistic things, such as the negative impact of social networks, just like the glamorous and bright moments you see, which may not necessarily be real life. Social networks have changed your expectations, causing many people to be very unaccustomed to their own lives.
Living in a humble house, I never believe in the so-called "what is the best arrangement" and other chicken soup. Those who reject the status quo, dare to think and act, don't aim too high, change immediately, understand and adapt, and maintain inner peace and determination are the real heroes.
