搞笑故事

#搞笑故事
The little girl of the supermarket owner at the entrance of the community was crying. I picked her up and comforted her: "Tell your uncle who bullied you, and your uncle will beat her up!" The little girl stammered and replied: "My mother!" The boss's wife happened to hear it. She came over and took the child from my hands and said: "Be good, don't cry, your father is on a business trip and will be back in three days!" I...

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#搞笑故事

During the military training, the instructor suddenly asked everyone to sing a line. The instructor started: Little Swallow in a flowery dress; Student A then sang: Come here every spring; Student B then sang: I asked the swallow why you came; The classmate next to me then sang: Swallow said; Then he turned his head to me, and the instructor also looked at me expectantly; I held it in for a long time, and then sang: Chirp Chirp...
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#搞笑故事

A man caught a cold and went to the hospital for an IV drip. The nurse quickly inserted the needle and hung up the saline solution. After more than an hour, the saline bottle was empty and the nurse came over and replaced it with another one. The man was puzzled and asked the nurse, "Miss, isn't there only one bottle on the prescription?" The nurse pointed to the empty bottle cap and said, "Sir, you are so lucky, this bottle won the prize, another one!"
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#搞笑故事

Two days ago, I was bored. I tried to send a message to 10086: "I miss you". Unexpectedly, 10086 actually replied: "Come find me, you bastard!" Then I was so scared that I quickly put down my father's phone.

#搞笑故事

The little earthworm was bored at home, so he cut himself into two pieces and went to play badminton.

The earthworm mother saw that it was a good idea, so she cut herself into four pieces and went to play mahjong.

So, the earthworm father cut himself into minced meat.

When the mother came back and saw it, she cried and said that if it was cut into such small pieces, it would die. The earthworm father said very weakly: There is no way, it is Valentine's Day, this is not enough to share?

I laughed to death

#搞笑故事
A man went to visit his grandmother with his friend. While he was talking to the grandmother, his friend started eating peanuts on the coffee table and ate all the peanuts. When they left, his friend said to the grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." The grandmother responded, "Oh! Um! Alas! Since I lost all my teeth, I can only suck the chocolate coating off them. Getting old, ahem...

#搞笑故事
It is said that children can see dirty things. My nephew said recently that he saw it. He pointed at the refrigerator for several days and said that there were two children laughing there. He described it vividly. He told my sister and she was so scared. She quickly called me back. I walked towards the refrigerator. I looked closely and saw that it was Haier Brothers!

#搞笑故事
The disciple surpasses the master

The teacher asked: "What is the second line of "If you have money, you can be willful"?

"The student answered: "If you have no money, you have to accept your fate." The teacher was speechless!

The teacher asked: "Use one sentence to describe the married life of modern men!"

"The student said: "Marry an ancestor and give birth to a father!"

The teacher asked again: "Why did women in ancient times bind their feet?"

The student said loudly: "I am afraid they will go shopping."

The teacher then asked: "Then why don't they bind their feet now?"

The student said: "Now that we have Alipay, there is no point in binding feet."

Teacher: "Come on, come on, you give a lecture..."

#搞笑故事
Grandpa came home and saw my father beating me crazily. He stopped him and asked why. “The bastard saw someone died and the family was throwing paper money. He thought it was colorful and ran to pick it up.” “That’s not a big deal, right?” “But, Dad, when I asked him why he picked it up, he said that when grandpa died, he would not buy it and would just scatter it.” “Dad, Dad, don’t be impulsive and put down the knife first…”
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#搞笑故事

The teacher told the students: "When you write an article in the future, don't call yourself the author, because now, no one uses a pen."
The student asked: "What should we call it?" The teacher said: "It's called a keyboard man."
The student asked again: "Oh, what about those who only use a mouse?" The teacher said: "It's called a mouse."
The student asked again: "But now everyone uses smart phones, all of which are touch-sensitive, so what should we call them?"
The teacher said: "It's called a touch-sensitive person!"

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#搞笑故事

A frog called a pastor and asked about his fate. The pastor said, "Next year, a young girl will come to meet you." The frog jumped up happily: "Oh, really? Is it at the prince's wedding?" The pastor said, "No, it will be in her biology class next year."

#搞笑故事
A man went to visit his grandmother with his friend. While he was talking to the grandmother, his friend started eating peanuts on the coffee table and ate all the peanuts. When they left, his friend said to the grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." The grandmother responded, "Oh! Um! Alas! Since I lost all my teeth, I can only suck the chocolate coating off them. Getting old, ahem...

#搞笑故事
My husband was on a business trip, and my daughter missed her dad in the middle of the night, so I called my husband and said, "Hubby, your lover came to see you in the middle of the night!"
My husband was shocked at first, and then said, "How did she find our house???"

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#搞笑故事

Two girls were talking in the last row, and they laughed out loud. The teacher's face darkened and he knocked on the blackboard angrily: "It's class time! Be quiet!" They were startled and immediately shut up, but it seemed that the topic just now was too interesting, so they could only suppress their laughter, and their shoulders were shaking... The teacher sneered: "Wow, there is also a vibration mode."
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#搞笑故事

A pair of corns fell in love...
So they decided to get married...
On the wedding day...
One corn couldn't find the other...
The corn asked the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn?
Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress...
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#搞笑故事

Me: "Boss, is this stir-fried lettuce a vegetarian or meat dish?"

Boss: "Of course it's a vegetarian dish"

Me: "What about this worm?"

Boss: "Uh...it's here to eat, too."

Me: "Why should I pay for its meal? I don't even know it!"

The boss cried and said: "It lost its life for this meal, can you still ask it to go Dutch?
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#搞笑故事 A girl was punished to run laps in the playground because she was late for class. Unexpectedly, it started to rain, so the girl had to run in the rain. A boy came to her side with an umbrella and ran with her, and moved the umbrella over her head. The girl recognized that the boy had been watching her for a long time, and her face turned red instantly. She whispered in a low voice, "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend..." The boy lowered his head and thought for a while, then said to the girl affectionately, "Do you want it? This umbrella is ten yuan..."

#搞笑故事
This man's melancholy eyes seem to have a story, but also seem to have no story.

#搞笑故事
The wife is quite fat. One day she said embarrassedly: "Honey, do I really look fat?" The husband said: "This question is really hard to answer. Do you want to hear the truth or a lie?" The wife said: "Of course I want to hear the truth." The husband said: "Actually, I dare not tell the truth. Look at the scale at home. It was crushed by you before I told the truth. If I told the truth, I don't know if I would be worse than it!"

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#搞笑故事

My teeth have been hurting recently, so I went to see a dentist. The dentist looked me up and down and asked, "Why are your teeth so worn out at such a young age?" I said, "I have been gritting my teeth all these years. 😂😂😂