【1】Don’t smile too much, especially an awkward smile.
[2] Say no to others openly and give a brief reason. Excessive explanations can make you the wrong party. Remember, it is not your fault if you say no to others.
【3】Don’t use your own embarrassing moments to amuse others, and don’t say things that belittle yourself and praise others. It’s better to be conservative than to exaggerate, otherwise it will be counterproductive. Too much is as bad as too little.
[4] Don’t be a trash can for other people’s emotions. When others complain to you, please keep quiet. Remember, you don’t have to please anyone.
[5] No matter where you are or what you do, always put yourself first. Because no one cares whether you consider other people's feelings when speaking. What everyone cares about is whether what you say involves their own interests.
[6] Remember, you can afford to offend 99% of the people around you, but those you cannot afford to offend have no time to pay attention to you.
[7] From now on, whenever you are faced with a choice, you should change from avoiding it to standing up for it. I did this little thing, so what? Do something you have never done before; approach someone you want to talk to; call someone you want to call right away; walk a path you have never walked before. Even if you fail, you have nothing to lose because you never had it in the first place.
[8] Clearly establish your own bottom line and principles, and resolutely defend them with actions. Those who borrow money and don't pay it back will be blocked; those who are full of negative energy will be kept away; those who dare to bully you will be knocked down.
[9] Stop asking yourself whether you are worthy or not. There is no such thing as worthy or not in this world. As long as you dare and as long as you actively pursue, then you deserve many of the beautiful things in the world.
[10] Dare to pause. No matter how urgent the matter is, pause for three seconds before responding. For example, when someone makes a request or asks a question, if you dare to pause, your response will give people the impression that you have carefully considered it.
【11】 When speaking or typing, remove interjections such as “啊” and “啦”. For example, replace “That’s right, of course, it’s OK” with “Yes, that’s right, of course, it’s OK.”
[12] Slow down all your movements. Turn your head, raise your hands, and stand up slowly. Even though it’s slow, it should be precise. This will make people feel that you are calm and powerful.
【13】Do not actively seek approval, approval or criticism from anyone except in specific circumstances.
【14】Consciously control your facial expressions. Don’t show happiness, anger, or sadness on your face. Avoid using low-energy words like “maybe,” “probably,” and “perhaps.” If you are unsure, you can say “let me think about it.”
【15】Walk with a firm step, you can stride fast, but don’t lean forward, and don’t lower your head. Putting your hand movements on your upper body will make people feel that you are powerful. When sitting, don’t put your hands on your lower body, because this is low energy. You can make eye contact for a long time, with a gentle and firm gaze, without avoiding the gaze, nor looking away first. This is called looking around and looking proud. Eliminate unnecessary movements when walking, standing, sitting, or lying down.
【16】Take the initiative to talk about your shortcomings: Talk about your shortcomings often. Then you will find that after you admit your shortcomings, these shortcomings don’t seem to be a big deal. You will feel relieved when you talk about them. Moreover, when others hear about your shortcomings, they will not be surprised or disgusted, but will be calm and encourage you. In short, walk in other people’s paths and leave them with no way to go.
[17] List your strengths: Everyone knows their strengths, but most people rarely praise themselves or appreciate themselves. So, please list your strengths. Write down 100 of your strengths. Then you will be full of confidence. Review your 100 strengths every day, and you will completely become a confident person.
I will teach you another psychological game trick. Once you learn it, no one will dare to control you! There is an unchanging characteristic in human nature, which is "villains fear power but not virtue."
【1】Why do others become more arrogant the more you treat them, and why do they become more arrogant the more you treat them?
Are you responsible for the current situation? Because the reason why others are so arrogant is nothing more than two reasons: first, because you have no principles; second, because you have principles, but you don’t have the courage to defend them.
[2] The reason why a person bullies you and controls you is because he thinks he has figured you out. He thinks you are a coward with no bottom line, so he dares to act recklessly and without scruples in front of you.
Just like everyone is very polite when they first meet, because they don't know each other's personality, strength, and so they won't be presumptuous. But in every subsequent contact, the other party is actually constantly testing your temper.
If during this process, the other party realizes that you are a coward, then he will definitely test your bottom line even more, until he knows you through. Once you and him form a relatively fixed "he is strong and you are weak" relationship mode, it will be very difficult to change it.
[3] So no matter who you are with, even if he jokes with you in a relatively mild way, as long as it makes you feel uncomfortable, even if you don't fight back, you should learn to look him straight in the face without any expression, and learn to freeze the air in an instant. Let him know that you are a person with a bottom line and a thorny personality.
Through this psychological game, you can make the other person understand that he should be careful and considerate of your feelings when talking to you or doing things with you in the future. Therefore, your position in the hearts of others is established step by step, and it is not a big mistake to just be nice to him, be tolerant and forgiving.
Remember, any lasting relationship does not come from your submission to others, but from others' awe of you.
[4] Sometimes the more you are willing to help someone, the cheaper your sincerity will seem. If you are usually aloof and only lend a helping hand once in a while, others will be grateful.
There is nothing good about good people, and bad people are not that bad. It's just that when a bad person does a good thing, it seems that there is a reason to forgive him. But when a good person does a bad thing, there is often no room for forgiveness.
[5] Don’t let yourself be pushed around easily. When you first meet someone, they will always ask you to close the door, pour a glass of water, or bring something with them. They are testing whether you are easy to control (perhaps they don’t even realize it’s a test). As you agree to their requests, they will ask more and more of you.
In the end, you become a pushover. Not only will they not be grateful to you, they will even try to take advantage of you for free and will not treat you as a human being.
[6] Ambiguous words. If the meaning of what you say is very clear, others will think you are easy to deal with, like clear water, very transparent. So you should learn to be ambiguous and use more words such as: it seems, maybe, I am not sure. Also, use affirmative and uncertain sentences alternately. In this way, others will not be able to figure you out and there is no need to get some uncertain information from you. If this trick is not used properly, it will backfire.
[7] How to reject someone? One way is to make excuses: I don’t have time now, I have other things to do… Your tone should be firm and concise. Don’t be hesitant or make it sound like it’s your fault for not helping him. The most important thing is, when you reject someone, don’t look at their face.
Second, follow the principle of value exchange. For example, "Go and help me move something," "Okay, my cup is empty, go and fill it up for me." If he agrees, it's ok to help. If he refuses, you have good reasons to refuse him.
[8] Why do we always encourage people not to be too kind? If you are kind, people will come to bother you. To borrow money, run errands, help, and ask for a ride.
Being kind all your life, you seem to have good relationships with everyone, but the premise is that you have to keep giving in order to maintain the relationship. I used to think that helping others was a good thing, but later I found that people who always like to help others will not have a good ending.
If you help someone once, you must help him for the rest of his life. If you fail to do this, your relationship will end.
As a result, he will regard you as an enemy. When you have difficulties and want to ask him for help, he will say to you: Don't be funny, everyone is very busy.
Aren't you kind? Then it's only right for you to help me. Even if I hurt you, you won't hate me. I will eat the food you give me while smiling secretly with my mouth crooked.
Why do people sigh: It is enough to have a bosom friend in life! The deep meaning of this sentence is to tell you: Don't imagine people to be so pure. Bosom friends are hard to find.
What about the not-so-kind people? They are surrounded by good friends. They know how to say no, how to ask for things, how to get angry. Of course, they also know how to give a little.
We can also change our thinking. Do we need to maintain all interpersonal relationships? Not really.
Meaningless socializing is a waste of time and has no value in maintaining at all.