Bai Juyi’s biggest regret in his life

When Bai Juyi was 11 years old, he moved to Fuli, Xuzhou with his mother, and met Xiang Ling, a girl 4 years younger than him. When Bai Juyi was 19 years old and Xiang Ling was 15 years old, they fell in love. When Bai Juyi was 27 years old, for the sake of family life and his own future, he wanted to leave Fuli and go to Jiangnan to make a living.

At this time, he and Xiangqing had a deep relationship, and they firmly decided that "I won't marry unless you are the only one, and I won't marry unless you are the one". But Bai's mother didn't like the Xiangling family and refused to agree to the marriage.

In the 16th year of Zhenyuan, 29-year-old Bai Juyi and Yuan Zhen both passed Jinshi. At this time, his mother looked down upon Xiang Ling even more. Mother's fate cannot be broken, so the childhood sweethearts can only put it aside for the time being.

Three years later, Bai Juyi was appreciated by the emperor, promoted to scholar, and moved to Chang'an. He begged his mother again and agreed to marry Xiang Ling, but due to Bai Juyi's promotion, Bai's mother firmly refused the request. In desperation, Bai Juyi said goodbye to Xiang Ling. Bai Juyi did not get married until he was 36 years old. At the age of 37, his mother forced him to die, so he had to marry a wife. This relationship with Xiang Ling became a difficult thing in Bai Juyi's life.

He wrote his feelings for Xiang Ling in the song "Song of Everlasting Sorrow", which expresses the greatest sorrow in his heart: "As time goes by, there will be an end, and this hatred lasts forever."

When Bai Juyi was 44 years old, on the way to Jiangzhou when he was demoted, he met the wandering father and daughter of Xiang Ling. Xiang Ling was 40 years old and still alone. The lovely man already has a wife by his side. At that moment, Xiang Ling let go of the deep feelings he had carried for decades. This love was too tiring and heavy, so she chose to escape into Buddhism.

The heartbroken Bai Juyi took up pen and wrote:

"Night Rain"

I miss someone far away.

I feel something, deep in my heart.

My hometown is far away and I can't go there without looking at it every day.

I can't understand it deep in my intestines, and I don't think about it every night.