A few days ago, #btc went bankrupt. I sat alone for a very long time, reminiscing about many things. Suddenly, I longed for my former self. Looking back at the path I’ve walked, the hardships I’ve endured, the grievances I’ve suffered, and the tears I’ve shed, I realize that unconsciously, I have endured so many grievances and frustrations. This journey has been filled with ups and downs; I have lost the pride I once had and the essence of who I used to be. From childishness to maturity, from simplicity to complexity, from being straightforward to being cautious, from being carefree to being full of defenses, the simple and happy me can never return. At my age, talking about the past feels like seeking sympathy, talking about the future feels like daydreaming, and discussing the present is confusing. I remain silent, every word is bittersweet. I hide it from everyone, pretending I’ve overcome many hurdles, pretending to be very happy, but only I know that some hurdles I will never get over. In the adult world, where is the word "easy"? The evening breeze wakes me up, and everything is hidden in my heart. I haven't said it's unfair, nor have I complained; I just say I understand. Before, I couldn’t sleep because I slept too much; now I can’t sleep because I think too much—because of people, because of things, because of worries, and the unsatisfactory life. No one knows what you are struggling with in the middle of the night. Those things that can’t be returned have their reasons for not coming back. Many times, I pretend to be indifferent on the surface, but deep down, there is too much bitterness and grievance that cannot be expressed. I’ve stumbled my way through this journey, learning a lesson with each step. No one can be someone else's safe haven. If I cry, I wipe my own tears; if I feel pain, I bear it myself. When I’m tired, I hold it in; when I’m suffering, I hold it in; when I feel wronged, I hold it in; when I’m sick, I hold it in; when I want to cry, I hold it in. I bear the weight of everything myself; besides being strong, there are no other choices. Life is like coffee; we always hope to meet someone who can add sugar for us. But all the sweetness can only be added by ourselves; if others give it, it may easily turn bitter. In the adult world, the heart is chaotic, the mouth is silent, and the eyes have seen the world's vicissitudes. What can be said, who can I talk to... Let’s leave the unspeakable feelings here.