Playing contracts only leads to liquidation and liquidation while asleep

$BTC I want to die. I lost everything. My father gave me 200,000 yuan for the down payment to buy a house, and I lost all the 300,000 yuan I saved playing virtual currency in the past few years. I have been losing since I learned to open contracts. I can still make money with spot trading, but I just can't control myself. What should I do if I keep opening contracts? I have nothing at the age of 30. I really want to die.