“Paws of Profit: The Dog Who Beat Bitcoin”

1. The Pizza Prediction

Tom boasted, “I’ve mastered the market. Bitcoin’s going to $100K by tonight.”

He bought at the peak and confidently ordered the most expensive pizza.

By the time it arrived, Bitcoin had dumped 40%. He sighed, “Should’ve just tipped the delivery guy in BTC.”

2. Grandma’s Advice

Jake convinced his grandma to buy Bitcoin during a pump, promising her it was “a sure thing.”

When the price dumped the next day, she smirked and said, “At least my knitting needles don’t lose value.”

3. The “Quick Break”

Lisa thought she could time the market. She sold her Bitcoin for a “tiny profit,” planning to buy back during the dip.

The dip never came, and she missed the pump. From then on, her friends called her “Lisa, the Dip Hunter.”

4. The Midnight Dump

Sam set his alarm to sell during the pump at 3 a.m. He woke up, bleary-eyed, to find the market had dumped 50%.

Muttering, he rolled over and went back to sleep, dreaming of a world without charts.

5. Dog’s Lucky Trade

Chris left his laptop open and his dog accidentally hit “sell” with its paw.

An hour later, Bitcoin dumped hard. Chris looked at his dog and whispered, “Teach me your ways, Sensei.”

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