From 'based' billionaire to federal tenant: The movie that will make 'The Big Short' look like a fairy tale 💸⛓️.
Hey there, crypto degenerates! 🎬 Are you ready for the most anticipated blockbuster since Satoshi ghosted the community?
BREAKING! Apple and A24 are cooking up a movie juicier than a memecoin pump 🚀 Based on the book "Going Infinite" by Michael Lewis (yes, the same chad who wrote "The Big Short"), this story has more plot twists than your portfolio in 2021.
Do you remember our friend SBF? 🤡 The one who went from being the Justin Bieber of crypto (but with worse hair) to becoming the Joker of finance. The same one who speedrun "how to lose billions faster than LUNA" 📉
And guess who's writing the script... Lena Dunham! 🎯 It's like having Elon Musk write about humility, but hey, WAGMI fam!
The movie promises more drama than when your favorite shitcoin goes -99%:
A CEO in shorts playing with other people's money ✅
An ex-girlfriend (Caroline) snitching like it's an episode of "Breaking Bad" ✅
Binance's CZ making a cameo as the final boss ✅
Effective altruism (spoiler: it wasn't that effective) 🤷♂️
And you know what's the craziest thing? 🤔 While Hollywood goes brrrr with this story, there are holders who are still waiting for their funds like Walter White waiting for Jesse to learn how to cook well.
The timing is chef's kiss 👨🍳 Just when we thought the crypto drama was on a dip, they come with this narrative bomb. It's like "The Wolf of Wall Street" but with more memes and less cocaine.
The entire squad is falling like dominoes:
Caroline Ellison: From CEO of Alameda to star of "Orange is the New Black" 👩⚖️
Ryan Salame: Involuntary staking in federal prison 🔒
Nishad Singh: Speedrunning testimonials like a pro 🏃♂️
Gary Wang: In "waiting room" mode for his sentencing ⏰
And meanwhile, SBF could be hodling 25 years behind bars. Talk about diamond hands! 💎🙌
Lema final para los nuevos: "In crypto we trust, but in cold storage we verify" 🔑
#NotFinancialAdvice #FTXRugPull #BecomeCreator #MarketDownturn
