some spicy news from today 🌶🔥:

BTC's playing hard to get, re-testing lows near 25k.

CYBER Coin: Up 100%, then a 50% nosedive.

DWF Cartel Vibes: CYBER fits right in, like a glove.

Bitcoin's September Blues: Lower each September for 6 years. Tradition!

200D Moving Average: Bitcoin swipes left, no match today.

Chinese Court Wisdom: Crypto's got the same rights as grandma's china.

ETF Green Light: Former SEC chair says it's more 'when' than 'if'.

Robinhood's Equity Drama: Buys back stake from SBF. No hard feelings?

HashKey's Altcoin Fiesta: Launches a 100m fund. Party time!

BTC Miners' Garage Sale: Sold 100m in 7 days

USDT's Identity Crisis: Slightly depegged in August

Tokenized Treasuries: Now at 635m. Wall Street's going blockchain.

ZK Roll-Up to Bitcoin: Bitcoin wants to join the cool kids.

Crypto Regs: Ryan Zurrer says it's coming faster than your Amazon package.

Unlocking the Vaults: Big month for APE, SUI, OP. Token party!

DWF & Binance Coins: Pumping like a high school kegger.

PNDC Rumor Mill: Up 90% on Gemini whispers. FOMO alert!

Supreme Loan: Owner takes a 1.1m on-chain loan

MAYC's Big Sale: Mega-mutant goes for 500ETH. We're back!

Yuga Labs Rally: Levered buyer drives up the price

Twelvefold Ordinals: Yuga Labs teases us, like a new Netflix season.

Macro's Hot Streak: Stocks have their best week since July.

Jobs & Unemployment: Rate rises to 3.8%

Bond Yields' Crystal Ball: No rate hike in Sep

Saudi Oil Drought: Lowest exports to US in 6 years

Saudi Aramco's Big Move: Mulls over a 50bn equity sale

Epstein's List: Ramaswamy's about to spill the tea

Binance Staked ETH: TVL soars to $482M.

Opyn Gamma: 142.76% daily growth. DeFi jackpot.

Beefy's Quiet Storm: $183.9M TVL

AAVE's Slow Burn: $2.14B TVL. Long game pays off.

Sonne Finance's Rise: 8.36% daily growth.

Uniswap V2's SHIA-WETH: 11,350.80% APY

Uniswap V3's PEPE-WETH: 3,269.70% APY

StakeDAO's MAV: 3,185.64% APY. Tightrope walker of DeFi.

PancakeSwap's CYBER-WETH: 2,693.92% APY. Fire-breathing

Uniswap V3's SHIA-WETH Redux: 2,014.52% APY

#crypto2023

$BTC