After years of baptism, I have a deeper understanding of human nature after I turned 30. I gradually realized that unless the other party actively asks for advice or pays for advice, I will try to avoid actively giving help or advice. There are three reasons behind this:
First, self-protection is crucial. Just like veterinarians are often bitten, giving help too actively sometimes puts oneself in unnecessary trouble.
Respect the self-esteem of others. Uninvited help may make the other party feel that their value is devalued, thus hurting their self-esteem.
Everyone has their own growth trajectory. If the other party has no intention to change, no matter how much help you give, it will be in vain. What they need may be emotional support and companionship, not our advice and help.
I am not advocating indifference, but I hope to remind everyone to be strategic when helping others. I once offended people unintentionally because of my over-enthusiasm. Now I understand that most people do not need direct help, but emotional resonance and companionship.
Let us put aside the obsession of "helping others" and respect everyone's growth trajectory. Before offering a helping hand, ask the other person if they need it, instead of deciding how to help them on your own. In this way, we can truly help others instead of making our efforts in vain.
