"When the stars advise: Cryptoguru and space analytics"

Today I looked at analytics from two crypto gurus. I expected them to discuss graphs, analyses, well, something scientific. And they took it and went to an astrologer for advice! Seriously guys?

Imagine what it looked like: “Good afternoon, Mr. Astrologer. We need a forecast for Bitcoin. Which stars speak to this?” And the astrologer was like, “Well, Mercury is retrograde, so guys, buy DOGE!”

Or maybe they went to a tarot reader. They laid out the Tarot cards and thought: “If the Tower comes up, then the market will collapse. And if the Wheel of Fortune comes up, then we are in the black!”

They also say that numerologists can predict the price of Bitcoin using your passport number. These crypto gurus think: “I have a three in fourth place! That means ether is 3000!” Well, of course, this is logical!

Guys, why all these analyzes and graphs when there is such a powerful science as astrology, right? We look at the stars and know exactly when to buy and when to sell. And don’t forget about retrograde Mercury, which will definitely let you know when everything goes to hell!

So I thought and started accurate analytics using a new science - cryptoastrology.