My name is Zhang Yao, 36 years old, and I was an ordinary IT engineer with a monthly income of about 10,000 RMB. My life had always been uneventful until the cryptocurrency frenzy in 2017 completely changed me. That year, like many ordinary people, I was attracted by the 'wealth talk' in the friend circle. My friend Zhang Wei was an expert in the cryptocurrency world, and the speed at which his wealth grew left me dumbfounded; in a few months, his investments multiplied several times.
So, I made up my mind to start my journey in the cryptocurrency world. At that time, the price of Bitcoin was around 20,000 RMB, and I used my savings accumulated over many years to buy 0.5 Bitcoin. As time went by, the price of Bitcoin kept rising, and the market's enthusiasm also surged. By the end of 2017, the price of Bitcoin reached nearly 150,000. In that moment, my heart was filled with immense excitement and anticipation, as if I could see the dawn of financial freedom.
However, as the price soared, my greed continued to grow. Zhang Wei told me that besides Bitcoin, there were many emerging altcoins worth investing in. So, I started trading frequently, buying Ethereum, Ripple, Litecoin, and others. Every time I saw the price rise, I couldn't help but feel joy, even beginning to fantasize about being able to afford a bigger house and living a better life.
However, the market is not always on the rise. In early 2018, the trend began to reverse, and prices gradually fell. At first, I was indifferent, thinking it was just a temporary fluctuation. However, as the market continued to decline, my investment account kept shrinking. Bitcoin dropped from 150,000 to 100,000, even lower. My mood began to grow anxious, as I watched the market daily on my phone, afraid of missing any chance for a rebound.
During this time, family pressure also came along. My wife, Xiaoli, discovered my investment activities, and she began to worry about our financial situation. We have a five-year-old daughter, and education and living expenses need to be covered. Xiaoli had several talks with me, trying to persuade me to cut my losses, but I always brushed her off with "It will rebound soon." I understood in my heart that her worries were justified, but I was unable to face the possibility of my own failure.
In June 2018, my account balance was no longer sufficient to cover my previous investments. Ultimately, I decided to borrow money to increase my position, hoping to recoup my losses when the market warmed up. I borrowed 100,000 RMB from relatives, silently praying that this operation would succeed. However, the market still did not give me a chance and continued to decline. In the end, I not only lost all my investments but also incurred debts.
I felt an overwhelming sense of despair and regret. The confidence I once had was completely shattered at that moment. Faced with Xiaoli's questioning, I chose silence and concealed the fact that I had borrowed money. Our relationship began to strain, and arguments became frequent. Xiaoli lost trust in me, and I was unable to provide her with a reasonable explanation.
In 2019, I began to look for part-time work to repay my debts. During the day, I continued working at the company, and at night I took on some outsourcing projects. Life became exceptionally tough, with almost no time to spend with my family. On my daughter's birthday, I didn't even have time to attend her celebration, and could only bless her through video. Every time I saw her expectant gaze, my heart ached.
However, despite the hardships of life, I still couldn't completely sever ties with the cryptocurrency world. Whenever I saw a glimmer of recovery in the market, a spark of hope would rise in my heart, urging me to try again. In 2020, I discovered the rise of DeFi (Decentralized Finance), where many claimed to make quick profits in this field. The temptations time and again made it impossible for me to extricate myself, and I reinvested some funds, hoping to find a way to turn things around in this new realm.
But the result was still disappointment. Months later, many projects collapsed due to a lack of regulation and management, and I lost confidence again, along with more funds. Every time I saw the market rising, my heart was filled with regret, wondering why I had not chosen a safer investment method and why I always harbored a sense of luck.
I began to feel deeply lonely. Communication between my family and me decreased, Xiaoli's eyes were filled with disappointment, and I felt powerless to change it all. Every night, lying in bed, I would think about my choices, regret intertwined with self-blame, unable to extricate myself.
In 2021, as the market continued to develop, the prices of Bitcoin and Ethereum soared again, yet I remained trapped in the shadows of the past. Although I knew I should let go and start life anew, the inner struggle made it impossible for me to take action. Every time I saw friends sharing their successes on social media, a wave of jealousy and unwillingness surged in my heart.
To this day, I am still working hard to repay my debts and return to an ordinary life. Although I have stopped trading, the memories of the cryptocurrency world still follow me like a shadow. Every time I see those flickering candlestick charts, my heart tightens, as if I am back in that moment filled with hope and despair.
Now it's 2025, and I am still wandering in the cryptocurrency world. Although I have experienced countless failures and pains, I cannot completely give up on this market. Every time I see others succeed against the odds, the greed and hope in my heart reignite. I know this path is full of thorns, but I still yearn for that glimmer of life.
Every night, when my daughter quietly fell asleep in my arms, I often reflected on my choices. I wanted to give her a better future, but at the same time, I was deeply attracted to the cryptocurrency world. I understood that this path might not be bright, but I still hoped to find my own way out. In this unpredictable world, I could only continue moving forward, hoping for the next turning point. I hope the bull market comes.
[Note: The article is from an anonymous submission and has been processed to avoid disclosing personal information. I hope everyone can see themselves in others. Feel free to share your story in the comments or find me on my profile.]
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