The biggest taboo: borrowing money to speculate

Sigh, I've been liquidated again. Since I first got into this last year, I've been liquidated a total of 75,000. A lot of it was done with borrowed money. Each liquidation really hits me hard emotionally; sometimes I really feel like my faith is about to collapse. But I also feel reluctant to give up. I think that even though I've lost so much, as long as I do the right things, I will recover quickly... I might continue; it feels like I'm getting obsessed.
Thinking about it, I really feel like a beast. Over the past few years of gambling and getting into the crypto world, I've lost tens of thousands, all borrowed from family and friends... Coming from a rural family, our conditions are not particularly good. However, my family and friends have been really good to me. Some of my friends have started their own businesses and families, while I, at 22 years old, have achieved nothing. I haven't even attended classes, and I'm in debt of 100,000, which my family doesn't know about... If I hadn't gambled and played with crypto, I might have already bought a car and married...
I really don't recommend getting into crypto; the tuition fee is truly a bottomless pit, and there may never be a day of recovery...
I'm posting this to keep a record; this stage is truly the lowest point of my life. I have nothing left.
I hope there will be a day when I can recover and make a profit.