J.P. Morgan CEO James Dimon’s Legendary Response: A Brutal Lesson in Value and Reality 🗿❗

Dear Mr. Morgan,

I’ll get straight to the point. I’m turning 25 this year, and I know I’m attractive, stylish, and have a taste for the finer things in life. What I want is simple: to marry a man whose annual income is at least $500,000 or more.

You might think I’m being materialistic, but the reality in New York is that even with $1 million a year, you’re considered middle class. So, my expectations aren’t unreasonable. I’m wondering if you know of any eligible men in your network meeting this income threshold—or are they all taken?

Here’s the thing: the wealthiest man I’ve dated so far earns $250,000 annually, but that’s just not enough to support the kind of lifestyle I want—living near Central Park, enjoying luxury. I’d appreciate it if you could help answer a few questions:

1. Where do wealthy bachelors hang out? (I’d love to know specific places—bars, restaurants, clubs, gyms, etc.)

2. What’s the ideal age group I should target?

3. Why do so many rich men marry average-looking women? I’ve seen girls who don’t seem particularly stunning, yet they’ve landed wealthy husbands.

4. What determines whether a woman becomes a wife or just a girlfriend? I want to get married—what steps should I take to ensure that happens with someone wealthy?

Thank you for your time,

Miss Pretty

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James Dimon’s Epic Response: A Hard Dose of Reality

Dear Miss Pretty,

Thank you for your letter. Your questions are intriguing, and I believe many young women are pondering the same thing. Let me address your situation from the perspective of a professional investor.

Since my annual income exceeds $500,000, I meet your criteria, so I’ll assume my response will be relevant to you. However, from a business standpoint, marrying you would be a poor investment—and here’s why.

In essence, you are proposing an exchange: your beauty in return for my wealth. This might seem like a fair trade—Party A offers looks, and Party B provides financial security. However, this arrangement presents a major flaw: beauty depreciates over time, whereas wealth, if managed well, continues to appreciate.

To put it plainly, my assets will likely grow over the years, but your appearance will not. In fact, as time passes, the value of your "asset" (beauty) will decline exponentially. From an economic perspective, I am an appreciating asset, while you are a depreciating one.

In financial terms, you’re what we call a "trading position"—something to hold temporarily, not an asset to invest in long-term. For someone like me, it would make more sense to rent rather than buy. Holding on to something that decreases in value over time isn't a sound strategy—whether we’re talking about stocks, properties, or relationships.

Now, I understand this might sound harsh. But ask yourself this: If I lost my wealth tomorrow, would you still stay with me?

The same logic applies from my side—if your beauty fades, wouldn’t I need an exit strategy?

You see, people who earn more than $500,000 a year aren’t foolish. We know how to make profitable decisions. That’s why someone in my position might date a woman like you but wouldn’t marry you. Instead of focusing on how to marry a rich man, you might be better off figuring out how to become wealthy yourself. After all, earning $500,000 annually is far more achievable than finding a wealthy person willing to make such a bad investment.

Best of luck,

James Dimon

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