I often see this kind of chicken soup on the Internet: The best attitude to life is to not compare yourself with others, just be yourself. This is all bullshit. Humans are social animals, and it is impossible not to compare yourself with others. And people's understanding of themselves is established through comparison with others.

Japanese design master Yohji Yamamoto once said: "Self" is often invisible. You have to collide with something else and bounce back before you can understand "yourself". Therefore, only when you collide with something very strong, something terrible, or something of a very high level, and then you will know what "yourself" is, this is the self.

But many people say that when they compare themselves with others, they either feel inferior, worthless, and unworthy, thus falling into self-denial; or they become jealous of others and then slander others to gain inner balance. No matter which one, they will fall into deep pain and cannot extricate themselves. These are all because they do not know how to compare with others correctly.

So what is the correct way to compare yourself with others? It is not to deny yourself, nor to denigrate others, but to face the gap and then work hard to improve yourself to make up for the gap. In other words, the correct comparison is to make yourself better, not worse.

Lin Dan and Lee Chong Wei are both great badminton players. Lee Chong Wei has been ranked first in the world for a long time, but he always loses to Lin Dan in big competitions, such as the Olympic finals. The competition between the two is also known as the "Yu-Liang rivalry". Someone asked Lin Dan, what do you think of Lee Chong Wei? Lin Dan said, he is a very good and great athlete. It is because of his strength that the value of my two Grand Slams is so high. It is indeed because of such an opponent, sometimes it is more effective than a coach. His hard work and strength can inspire you to do what you think is good enough.

Isn't Lin Dan's strength based on comparison with Lee Chong Wei and other outstanding athletes? In fact, the reason why humans can continue to progress is based on mutual comparison. What is the slogan of the Olympics? Higher, faster, stronger. Isn't the Olympics about competition?

There is a very important basis for correctly comparing yourself with others, that is, you must have a stable self, feel that you are basically good, worthy of being loved, and welcomed by the world. This stable self is like an anchor for a ship, which can help you neither be arrogant nor belittle yourself in comparison, so that you can face up to the gap and make up for it. Where does this stable self come from? It comes from the unconditional love of your parents.

If you don't push yourself, you will never know how good you are. And this push is not from yourself, because human nature is to avoid pain. This push comes from comparing with others and competing with others. So, don't be afraid to compare with others, what you need to learn is to compare with others correctly.

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