Chapter 8 Low point in life
More than 2 months have passed since the last time I made the mistake of filling my position. I have not been doing very well and my account has lost more than 30% of the funds from the highest point.
During this period, I often stayed up all night, often lying in bed alone until late at night. Looking out the window at the bright night, the neon lights of the metropolis illuminate the sky all night long.
Recalling the night I boarded the train to Shanghai, I felt as if I was in another world.
I increasingly feel that trading is a fair and bumpy road. This road may be really difficult to walk, but it is indeed a career that I love, although it is full of thorns and hardships.
I calmed down and thought about my experiences in the past year and what problems I had in my trading.
Looking back on why I started trading professionally, it was because I wanted to make quick money. I thought I could make money by relying on the strength of others. In the final analysis, I still have a gambler's mentality. Just because I knew a little bit about trading, I wanted to take shortcuts. After being led astray, misled and deceived, I slowly started to get exposed to the threshold of technical stock trading.
In subsequent transactions, I have begun to make profits based on technology, and I can make money based on technology. But recently, I saw that the stocks in my self-selected stocks started to rise, so I rushed to chase them. As a result, they started to fall again the next day, and then I couldn't bear the loss and cut the losses. This repeated torture only consumed me. The capital also consumed my energy and mind. I don't like this situation very much, but the reality makes me helpless.
I need to correct my attitude - I want to be a trader, truly enjoy the process of trading, execute the plan, and making money is the result, rather than trading for the purpose of making money.
I began to review the trading techniques I now mastered, review previous transactions, and re-understand this skill that I was determined to use to make a living.
Any stock, as long as it has a market value management team, will go through the process of fund-raising, trial trading, washing, pulling up, and shipping. And if we study and judge the trend of a stock from a technical perspective, we must start with technical indicators. Technical indicators are synthesized based on daily opening price, closing price, trading volume and other data, and only have a certain reference value. If we want to make good use of technical indicators, we must first understand its mechanism and then conduct comprehensive research and judgment.
And here it is easy to fall into a misunderstanding - over-study of technical indicators. Looking back on my previous mistakes, they were all caused by over-study of technical indicators and loss of overall judgment on the trend. In addition, I did not have good execution ability and stop-profit and stop-loss. Even if the transaction was wrong, I was unwilling to admit it and deal with it rationally in the correct way. This led to my continuous losses in previous transactions, and also created a gambler's mentality - I thought that what I bought would go up, but in fact it was completely wrong. Along with this gambler's mentality, I even made a full position operation without leaving any hole cards in previous transactions. This further increases my risk in trading.
I'm thinking that my mentality and personality are actually suitable for short-term trading, not long-term trading. People should choose the trading method that they are good at and like in trading, whether it is short-term or long-term, and the swing range is correct. If you like the short-term, then focus your energy on the short-term, recognize your own trading method, and keep going in this direction.
There are fewer and fewer car lights flashing by, and the lights of thousands of houses will not stay on all night. Shanghai has entered a quiet night. Sometimes people always need some quiet time to think carefully. At this moment, my view of the future is gradually becoming clearer.
Next, what I need to do is to improve my ability to read the market, improve my analysis ability, and then improve my execution ability. More importantly: Correct your mentality and correct your mistakes when you know they are wrong.
The early winter in Shanghai is not as beautiful as the Central Plains. In my hometown, the mountains were already covered with snow at this time. Looking into the distance from the door of the house, one can see the rolling white mountains nestled together, joining together not far from the skyline.
In Shanghai, there is only cold and endless rain in winter.
Since I started trading full-time, I have been fooled by others because of my ignorance, and I have also studied hard because of my determination. I've been through ups and downs. But I have never experienced such a low point as now.
Recently, although I have figured out how to trade, the market is really not good. Recently, the Shanghai Composite Index has begun to fall again, and the sustainability of individual stocks is also very poor. I still lose money and make money. Although my mentality is much better, my life is not very good. After paying back Xiao Zhang's money and buying Xiaoxiao a mobile phone, I don't have much cash on hand.
"Xiao Xu, your rent is about to expire. Are you considering renewing the lease? If you want to renew, please pay the subsequent rent as soon as possible." I never replied to the text message the landlord sent me. I really can't afford that much. The rent was paid.
Although I have been trying to reduce my expenses as much as possible recently, the real problem still exists - I have no stable source of income.
I am now faced with the choice of checking out and leaving Shanghai, or spending the principal left in the stock market to stay in Shanghai. On the surface, it seems to be a question of where to stay, but in essence, it is a question of whether one's own trading path can continue.
In the end, I withdrew the principal of 5,000 from the stock market and paid the rent. The principal has been reduced by half. If I want to realize the original income, my rate of return must be doubled. The moment this logic appeared in my mind, I knew that my road was getting more and more difficult.
"I'm coming to your house for dinner tonight, and I want to eat roast beef." Xiaoxiao sent me a message.
I haven’t dated Xiaoxiao for a long time. It’s not because I’m busy with trading, but because I haven’t been able to make any money. I’m very autistic and don’t want to talk to anyone. Xiaoxiao asked me how I’m doing lately, and I said okay. Okay, and I don’t want to say anything more. When Xiaoxiao arrived at my house, I had already prepared the meal.
She was not happy with today's dinner. She said the taste was not as good as before. Not only did she not listen to my explanation, she actually asked me if I had something on my mind.
"No, I'm fine..." Xiaoxiao stared at me seriously and asked seriously: "What's going on? You haven't been chatting with me much lately. What happened?"
I looked at her concerned look and held it in for a long time before sighing and saying, "I haven't done well in transactions lately and I'm in a bad mood."
"Didn't you say you've always done a good job?" Faced with Xiaoxiao's questioning, I had no choice but to lower my head.
After a moment of silence, Xiaoxiao sighed, got up and went to my room. The computer in the room was still on, and the stock trading software was not turned off. She must have seen my account balance, and she looked very anxious when she came to me again.
"Where's the money in your account? Why is there only more than four thousand left?"
"I renewed the lease with the landlord, and after adding in the losses from the previous period, that's all I have left." I explained weakly.
Xiaoxiao stood next to me and looked at me. After a long time, she said: "I have already entered my third year of running. I can't see any hope for the future with you like this. I chose you because of your hard work, but I am so disappointed now..." " I ate my meal one bite at a time, enduring the grievance and guilt in my heart. I wanted to explain something but couldn't say anything.
"Let's separate..." Xiaoxiao walked out the door with her bag, "You should rest early, the Chinese New Year is almost here. If you can't do it, find a job and do it well. It's not like you are incapable. If one road doesn't work, just change it." Road."
Hearing the sound of Xiaoxiao closing the door and leaving, I sat blankly at the table for a long time...
There was a lot of snow during the Spring Festival that year, and that year was not a solid one.
Years ago I received a call from my mother. As usual, they mostly talked about domestic matters. My mother specifically asked me if I would take my girlfriend back, but I excused myself by saying that the time was not yet ripe. After hanging up the phone, I looked at the last balance of more than 4,000 yuan in my trading account, and finally made up my mind to withdraw all the money.
Even the lively atmosphere of the Spring Festival cannot hide the bleakness of my future. While my relatives at home were immersed in the joy of the Spring Festival, I sat alone and looked at the previous transaction delivery orders on my mobile phone, thinking about what I should do in the future.
My mother was keenly aware of my changes. When no one was around, she quietly asked me about my recent situation.
Although I couldn't get a word of truth out of my mouth, I knew from her tone of voice and worried eyes that she knew everything.
"If it doesn't work, come back. Go to work at your uncle's company in the city and have someone at home to take care of you. It's better than working alone in Shanghai." Mother comforted her.
"I know, Mom." I comforted her, "I'm not stupid. I'll come back if I can't hold on any longer."
During those days at home, my mother never asked me to cook and would prepare my favorite dishes for me every day. I also spent the poorest and warmest Spring Festival in this rare comfort.
"This is the money you gave me last year. I saved it all." When leaving, my mother took out a thousand yuan. She put the money into my hand, and squeezed my palm hard to prevent me from letting go of the money: "I don't give it to you all at once because I'm afraid you will meet a thief on the road. I will go to the bank to give you the remaining money after the New Year." Send it over."
Just after the seventh day of the Lunar New Year, I embarked on a journey to Shanghai again. Through the windows of the green train, I could see the snow-covered mountains fading away, but the majestic and clear outlines of the mountains in my hometown became blurry in my eyes.
The day after I returned to Shanghai, I received a call from Team Leader Niu.
"Xiao Xu, happy New Year, how are you doing recently? We have started to go to work." Team Leader Niu was as enthusiastic as ever.
"Hello, Brother Niu, you guys are at work too."
"Yeah, by the way, since December last year, I took Xiao Zhang and several others to resign and come to work in my friend's company."
"Oh? You have all resigned, and you are still selling stock software?"
"I no longer sell stock software, but provide technical services for spot silver trading at my friend's company."
"What is spot silver?" I was a little confused.
"This is a kind of contract trading that can be leveraged, which is similar to our domestic futures." Team Leader Niu explained, "Are you interested in doing it with me? Xiao Zhang said that you have made some achievements recently and made some money. It's pretty good, but it's definitely not as much as ours.
Xiao Zhang has only been with us for two months and has already earned more than 200,000 yuan. Do you want to come and take a look? "
My jaw dropped at Team Leader Niu’s words. I always thought that I was somewhat experienced in the world, but I didn’t expect that Xiao Zhang, who had always been relatively mediocre, would have such achievements. I feel a little uncomfortable.
"Okay," I replied decisively, "Give me your address and I'll come back and have a look." After hanging up the phone, my heart couldn't calm down for a long time, so I hurriedly sent a text message to Xiao Zhang asking about the current situation. Xiao Zhang responded very quickly. He didn’t explain too much and just asked me to have dinner together in the evening.
Xiao Zhang chose a Chongqing hotpot. There were not many Chongqing hotpots in Shanghai at that time, so the business in the store was very booming. We waited in line for a long time to get a corner seat. In a noisy environment, the sound of speech will inevitably be amplified.
"Tell me, what did Team Leader Niu do with you? Make money like this?" I asked directly without being polite to Xiao Zhang.
"Hey, what should I say?" Xiao Zhang seemed worried.
"What's wrong?" I wondered, "You don't look like someone who earned two hundred thousand."
"I don't know what's going on. I'll tell you slowly."
Xiao Zhang slowly told the whole story, "Didn't Team Leader Niu take me to his friend's company? That company is actually a company that deals in spot silver. The team leader asked us to keep all the customer phone numbers of the previous company and pull them over to do the work. Spot silver.
You don’t even know that Team Leader Niu has accumulated customers for three years. In the past two months, he has made more than 4 million yuan. I really can’t figure out how he makes money. "
I became more curious and asked: "What is your working mode?"
Xiao Zhang said: "We will notify our customers and call them, saying that each person will be given fifty US dollars to trade spot silver. The money earned can be withdrawn, and you can earn dozens of times in one day. Spot silver can be long and short, not For example, you can only buy long in the stock market. And there is a leverage of 500 times that can be used. This means that your $50 can be used as $25,000, and $10,000 can be used as $5 million. And let us show our customers the company's One of the trading accounts. The account with one thousand US dollars earned 120,000 US dollars in one day. Then many customers would recharge. In fact, they did not know how to operate and trade at all, so our company has teachers who call orders and tell them whether to open long or open long. When opening a short position, they will tell you how many times the leverage should be used, and then our company will say that we only earn their handling fees.”
"Go on." I took a sip of my drink.
Xiao Zhang nodded: "When I have been doing this for more than a month, most of my clients have transferred a large part of the money they invested in the stock market, and all of them have lost money. I don't know that the trading direction given by our company's teacher is wrong." , or something.
It’s easy for customers to lose money. Recently, all my customers have complained to me about losing a lot of money. The company reassured us that we will find a better teacher to share strategies with them next time. Ask the customer to wait. "
When I heard this, my heart skipped a beat, and I quickly took out my phone and searched for relevant information on the Internet. There is a lot of relevant information on the Internet, and the experience of one of the victims fully illustrates the problem: such companies use high profits to deceive investors into investing large amounts of money in spot silver transactions on their platforms; investors during the investment process The money lost will eventually flow to the company and the trading platform. This is an exchange that loses money due to internal market cannibalism.
"Does your company earn customer fees or lose money from customers?" After understanding the logic, I hurriedly asked Xiao Zhang.
"What is customer loss?"
"It means that the money earned by customers actually belongs to your company, while the money lost by customers only circulates within your platform. They are rivals of the company. What they lose is what you make. This is customer loss." I didn't have the patience to explain. Picking up the important thing, he said: "Your company and the trading platform should split the money lost by customers 70/30 or 40/60."
Xiao Zhang was silent for a while, took out his cell phone and pressed it for a while, then patted the cell phone on the table: "You are right, the money I earn is 10% of the money my clients lose according to the commission ratio." After that, We both fell silent.
The originally spicy and tempting hot pot seemed to be no longer fragrant.
On the way home, I kept thinking about Team Leader Niu’s behavior.
He had told me before that he had other plans, but he never revealed the specifics.
Although what he was doing was unethical, from a practical perspective his approach was correct. He worked hard in a certain field for many years and accumulated enough connections and resources before he chose to resign. In this way, the resources he carried could immediately bring him considerable benefits.
In comparison, it seems very naive for a young person like me, who is "newborn and not afraid of tigers," to choose to resign and engage in another industry without any escape route or resources.
After I got home, I struggled for a long time and finally sent a message to Xiao Zhang: "You should pay attention to yourself. If it doesn't work, just find another company. You can't do this kind of defrauding customers anymore."
As soon as I sent out the news, I received a call from Team Leader Niu.
"Xiao Xu, what do you think?" Team Leader Niu was still so direct and never said hello in a wordy way.
"I haven't thought about it yet," I declined. "It's just the New Year, so I don't have time to think about it."
"Don't hesitate," he insisted, "bring over the customers you have. You already have many customers and the quality is high. You will definitely make money."
Hearing this, I understood Team Leader Niu’s intention. As a person who has been cheated, I can never do anything to hurt others.
I rejected Team Leader Niu's invitation: "I still want to concentrate on trading and make money with my own skills." "That's okay, you can come to me whenever you have figured it out." That night, I sat in front of the computer, I analyzed the recent stock market conditions again.
Recently, I often rely on watching the market to kill my stress. After all, I no longer have any capital to squander. Thinking that I have no source of income now, I am still determined to find a job.